Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
