Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
