Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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