I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I wish i was in the wii world.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
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