yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
