I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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