craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
