it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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