return my video game
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
