I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
