Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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