I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
