please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
