I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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