One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
