I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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