we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
