How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
