so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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