friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
