she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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