Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
