If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
