Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Boobs speak an international language.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
