Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
