so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
