absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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