Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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