Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
