Reggie can tackle my bush.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize