life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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