i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Someone came in the potted fern
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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