he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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