ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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