I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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