Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
