I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
