Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
