walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
