Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
