last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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