I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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