where does the pee come out of this thing
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
