I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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