OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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