dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
