If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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