I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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