fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
