Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize