Only a mothe r could love this liver
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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