I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
