so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
