He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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