I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
