He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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