My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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