Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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