took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
