Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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